Idol Schmidol

It's the final three, baby!  Let's all muster some phony excitement here.  I am not a Scotty fan, but he does seem like a nice guy and appreciative of the opportunity.  I love Lauren and Haley for different reasons and I hope one of them wins.

What is Lauren wearing?  That looks like one of Drew's superheroes.  It's like a red napkin/cape?

BEYONCE!  I love Beyonce.  I watched her live performance special on TV and my jaw was on the floor.  What that woman does in the course of a concert is astounding.  Somehow she loves Scotty too... can't figure this out.  He is leaning on the piano like a character from Grease.  He might as well start snapping.  Blech.  Boring boring boring.  At least he will have a country career ahead of him.  He will probably sell a ton of records.  He looks so much like Will Ferrell's George W. Bush that I wonder if he says "nucular" too.

I love J Lo, and we all know Mr. Commish loves J Lo, but her hairstyle is really pushing the limits of beauty.  It is like bad prom hair from our high school in the 90's.  I think I got a hairdo like that at Diane's salon and even then I knew it was bad.

Oh, this outfit is not good.  Not good at all.  I am not a fashionista and it takes a lot for me to be affected by someone's outfit but it might just get her sent home.  What are those earrings?  I think I saw them in a silk arrangement at my grandmother's house.  Wowza. She is such a beautiful girl and she deserves a beautiful outfit.

Beyonce likes Haley and she is fearless in front of her.  She doesn't look the least bit intimidated.  Her main thing is her personality and likability and I love that she brought her dad out and made herself seem more human.  She just busted it!  Thankfully she gets up and keeps singing and has a good sense of humor about herself.  That might get people to vote for her.  "All the contestants are going to sing well but it is about who creates moments"- Jennifer Lopez.  We definitely had a moment there.

Jimmy Iovine just compared this song that says "Are you going to kiss me or not, are we going to do this or what, I think you know I love you a lot" to early Tom Petty records.  There is NO way he deserves that.  His songs may be simple, but they are still genius. Deceptively simple if anything.  Not simple dumb.  Kind of like the difference between "funny weird" and "funny haha".  J Lo wants him to shave his hair to complement his rosy cheeks.  And no, Randy, he is not approaching the level of Garth Brooks.  It is so easy for Scotty to please people who know nothing about country music.

Oh no, Lauren just missed the modulation!  So sad... at least she recovered.  That was a bit of a train wreck.  I don't think it was the right choice for her.  It's a great song but more for a folky singer... she oversang the stuff at the end.  I am really missing Simon at this point because I feel like he would be honest.  I LOVE Lauren though and I can't believe she is 15 years old and doing this.  I have to say that with any small criticism because I am in awe of her ability to get this far without a breakdown.

Haley is singing one of my personal favorites, Stevie Nicks.  She needs a big black witchy cape.  I think she sounds amazing and moves with such ease and confidence.  I like how she sang so softly in the chorus and didn't have to wail.  The judges want her to wail, of course.   Whoa, Randy is being funny about the hair!  He just made me laugh for the first time all season.

I'm glad Ryan Seacrest is proud of AI being a family show that parents and kids can watch together.  He should be extra proud of all the cuss words they are teaching a new generation and all the sexual videos they are showing.  Way to go, American Idol!  The family show that no parent wants to show their family.

"I do believe that's the first big chorus you sang in a big way like that", says Steven Tyler about Scotty's song.  I have learned that loud= good to ST.

Of course the judges pick "I Hope You Dance" for Lauren.  I loved this song when it came out but it feels cliche at this point.  They don't know that, because once again, they don't listen to country music!  Today she is wearing her Diamond Dazzle Barbie outfit.  What kind of crazy world are we living in where Randy and Steven both claim to be "great friends" with LeeAnn Womack?  I'd love to be at that dinner party.

Nice change of lyric on the Alanis song, AI... I was wondering how you were going to pull that one off on this "family friendly" show. "Would she go out with you to the theater?"  Yes, because most women don't like to go out on dates to the theater?  I can't believe they chose this song, but she performed and sang it well I guess.

All right, so who is going home?  What do you think?  The finale is coming up so hide your kids and hide your wives, but watch it with us here at IdolSchmidol.

Peace out,
Mrs. C