Idol Schmidol

Mrs. Commish has some book club meeting tonight. Book club is something I don't understand. I like the idea of clubs. Just not the idea of reading books. That is why I watch American Idol. Anyways, this means that I am finally sitting down alone to make my own comments on the show. I got the kids in bed and threatened them to make sure they don't come back out and interrupt my comments.

So. The final six ... hold on ...

(10 minutes later)

Sorry. Apparently my threats weren't grave enough. I used the generic stuff like "I will take away your puppy" for one of them, but forgot to give any consequences for the oldest. He came out complaining about his new braces. Something about pain. I tell him that life is full of pain - and braces pain is pretty low on the list. Go back to bed.

So. The final six ... hold on

(30 minutes later)

Sorry. Apparently my youngest son is not done with the stomach virus that got him kicked out of pre-school today. So I was holding him over the sink when my daughter ran in screaming because she hates vomit. She got a piece of paper so she could make a sign for her room that said "No sick boys allowed near here". She is the compassionate one of the family. I am not being sarcastic. So after clean up, brushing teeth (for the 3rd time), tucking in two kids again and thoroughly washing my hands, I think I am ready to do my job as IdolSchmidol commissioner.

Oh, look! The Voice is on. Let me just watch one audition really quick.

(20 minutes later)

Man. It looks like that Maroon 5 guy and Christina Aguilera actually have some chemistry together. I am not sure which judge I would pick if I was on there. Probably Cee-Lo. I mean, I grew up on country and everything, but I don't know if Blake Shelton would have as much to offer me as someone in a completely different market. Nope, I would probably pick Christina Aguilera.

I think I hear someone at the front door. Mrs. Commish must be home from her class - I mean - book club. She says she will watch the show with me but has to write something on her calendar first.

(25 minutes later)

I thought she was going to just "write something on her calendar" but it feels like she is just "writing a calendar". Like a completely new calendar. A completely new calendar system that follows weather patterns or something. What else could account for this almost half-hour delay? Surely she didn't just get distracted by email and Facebook. That would be so unlike her. Finally I complain enough and she comes in to sit next to me on the couch that is our command center for IdolSchmidol.

So. The final six ... "Really? Ok - you hold him still and I will get some new pajamas for him. Don't let him step in that. Take him to the bathroom and I will clean it up."

And as I was disinfecting the hallway floor (and part of the wall), I realized that some things (American Idol) will have to wait - at least until tomorrow. Surely I can find some time during the day to sit down and just watch the performances. I don't have a REAL job anyways - it should be easy.

So. The final six ... (TO BE CONTINUED - like a good episode of Magnum P.I.)